Transcribed By Amanda And Edited By Kat
 
(Nighttime in Office:  Drew is hooked up to a machine to see how much he's learnt so far at Mansbridge. Murdoch is sitting across from him.)

Dr. Murdoch - Comfortable?

Drew - I hate tests. Waste of my time. I flunked most exams in my former life.

Dr. Murdoch - I'm gonna ask a series (fiddles with knobs on machine) of questions to assess your… predatory nature.

Drew - How original. Essay or multiple choice?

Dr. Murdoch - You’re here at Mansbridge to master your cravings. So let's see if there's been any change.

Drew - If I flunk, do you send me home with a note for my mommy?

Dr. Murdoch – (turns on machine) Imagine a beautiful night and you’re walking in the woods… at your side, is a beautiful woman, a mortal, her features radiant in the moonlight. Can you sense the experience?

Drew – I may be dead but I'm not made of stone.

Dr. Murdoch - What do you feel? (Needles moving wide)

Drew - I feel closeness, a sharing…

Dr. Murdoch - Good. Anything else?

Drew - I feel a warmth.

Dr. Murdoch - Impressive. Is that all?

Drew – An urge to be closer… typical human response… (Murdoch smiles and looks at machine. The needles are moving all over)

Dr. Murdoch - [Laughs] How much closer?

Drew - Just what I said.

Dr. Murdoch – How much closer?

Drew – I’ve told you everything.

Dr. Murdoch – How much closer?

Drew - What do you want from me? (Lie detector test explodes)

Dr. Murdoch – (Writes in his book) For humans, love and hate are opposites, capable of lifting or tormenting a soul.(in cellar Drew all upset) For a vampire, love and hate only torment, for in his world, they are often the same.

(In Cellar: Karl walks over to Drew gives him his blood.)

Karl - Mealtime. (Toss’ it to Drew)

Drew - Pass. (Toss’ it back)

Karl - Pity. Nature’s blood is perfect food.

Drew – (walks away) Sure, if it’s warm, and freshly sucked from a living body. (Stops and Karl sits down)

Karl – Hey so should we get team jackets or T-shirts?

Drew - What?

Karl - You and me, we’re teammates, buddy… Give me an F for flunkers! (He laughs)

Drew - I’m not on your team!

Karl - Hey, look, take it easy. It's hard to change. I've been a vampire for a year and I couldn't get back. You've been a vampire for what, a hundred years?

Drew - That's no excuse. (Leaves)

(In Sherry’s room: Sherry on computer typing a letter. Mimi at her computer)

Sherry - [On her computer] Dear Dad… it was great getting your e-mail… Great? That's a laugh… (Backspaces words) Dear Dad, it was nice getting your e-mail… Nice, there's a dull and uninspiring for yah… Dear Dad. (Erases message) How about… “Dear Dad, thanks for the message, as usual, it sucked! But I'm great. Mansbridge prison is wonderful. Sleeping lots, dreaming of a way to escape.

Mimi – (found something on the net) Sherry, I've got the most important thing we gotta do right now.

Sherry - What? (Mimi gets up and goes to Sherry with paper)

Mimi - The key to your true self.

Sherry – (looks at paper) A friendship test…

Mimi - What could be more important… than discovering how good a friend you really are.

Sherry - We're the best.

Mimi - Sure, but in a crisis, can we trust each other to be there 100 percent?

Sherry - Okay, (reads) the first test of a true friendship is… “1; Being honest about her new hair color?”… “2; not spending more than 3 minutes alone on the phone with her boyfriend” or “3; loaning her $20 and never asking for it back?” Mimi, we have to study for our history test.

Mimi - We need a break.

Sherry – “One; being honest about her new hair color?” (All excited they get up and dance) … am I a true friend or what? Come on; let’s finish the test!

(Night in Cellar: Essie has dressed Merrill in a god awful dress she made) Back in the basement. Essie and Merrill are sorting out Essie's clothes.)

Essie - Oh! I could call the line Couture Esse.

Merrill - More like Tramp Vamp…

Essie - I could put it on the net.

Merrill - Are you crazy? We're supposed to keep a low profile here.

Essie – Oh please! I'm not really the “low profile” type. Plus I can get you a part of the action.

Merrill - I don't really have much fashion sense.

Essie - True, but y’a got potential.

Drew – (strolls down steps and stops) And what are we young ladies doing this evening? Ahhh. Playing dress up, are we? Coddling human hopes and aaspirations?

Essie - Well, well, well, what side of the coffin did you roll out of? (Karl enters room)

Drew - I AM VAMPIRE, pure and deep. I do not love, I crave… I do not feel, I lust…

Merrill - What's that supposed to mean?

Karl - He failed Murdoch's test.

Essie - Well, I guess he'll just have to wait till next term to become civilized.

Merrill - It's only a test.

Drew – Well spoken, Merrill. And hugely insightful.

Merrill – Fine, all I'm saying is trust your own instincts.

Drew – A bear has instincts. Wouldn't trust him in the same room with me.

Marty - [Leaping down the stairs with lots of wires from the lie detector stuck to his head] Hoo! I'm coming, master! (Growling) Woo! Your wish is my command… I will do your bidding and destroy them all.

Karl – Huh! For a minute there we were hoping the lobotomy worked.

Merrill - Did you pass the test?
Marty – (stands up straight) You see before you a kinder, gentler, vampire… one who's crossed over from the dark side to the, softer, gray shades of evil... Yes, I passed, with flying colors.

Karl - Bravo!!!

Drew - Then for sure (walks away) the test is rigged.

Essie - Said the sore loser...

Marty - What's with him?

Karl - Exam blues.

Marty - He flunked the test? Drew gets into coffin. Marty laughs) Oh oh, that is precious… (Breaths in) Oh the oh-so-sensitive, the lovesick sensitive Drew turns out to be nothing more than a lecherous predator of the night. (Growling and laughing)

(In coffin: Drew plugs his ears from the others laughter. He mind travels to Sherry’s room. Sherry and Mimi still doing friendship test)

Sherry – Number twenty-one, A true friend knows you're really hurting when… 1: You forgot your mascara, 2: You forgot your wallet, or 3: She sees four empty cartons of double-chocolate ice cream on the floor. That's easy, all three.

Mimi – Hoh! Amazing. You're the perfect friend. (Laughs and Drew mind travels back to coffin and unplugs ears)

Drew - [To himself] For you, I will slay the beast.

(Morning in Library: Murdoch walking around room as the day students are taking their History. In cellar: shows coffins. Back at test Mimi looking at Sherry’s paper from afar and Sherry looks at Mimi. Nighttime in cellar: Drew awake in coffin. Merrill handing out plasma bags)

Merrill - Marty. (Hands one to Essie)

Essie – (smells bag) Hmm… Gish. You look terrible.

Drew - I'm okay.

Essie - You're not eating. You haven't touched a drop in twenty-four hours.

Drew - So?

Essie - So, it's getting dangerous, Drew. Or have you forgotten your basic vampire physiology?

Drew - I'll eat when I'm hungry.

Essie - That's not how it works. After thirty-six hours, your brain cells start dying, followed by perceptual distortion, muscular paralysis, and even culminating in a coma that lasts for centuries.

Drew - Trying to scare me?

Essie – Doing my best. Now get with the program (toss bag) and eat.

(Drew toss’ bag on table. In Lobby: Sherry and Mimi coming down the steps fast.)

Sherry – Sshh! Dr. Murdoch always posts the exam results before he goes to bed at night. (Looks at paper on wall) Oh! Seventy-Five percent! That's one less nasty letter from my dad… How’d you do?

Mimi - I can't look…

Sherry – (looks at paper) Oh my god Mimi, I don't believe it.

Mimi - What?

Sherry - You're a genius! NINETY-TWO percent! (Mimi turns around and looks. She screams with joy) Shhh! Shh!

(In Office: Murdoch at desk the other vamps are sitting around but Drew is standing against wall)

Dr. Murdoch - The assessments are overall, very encouraging. We are (stands) making progress. Slowly.

Marty – I say we celebrate with a party, even invite the day schoolers, I mean, since we're learning to behave ourselves.

Dr. Murdoch - A little premature, perhaps, but a nice thought.

Merrill - What makes you think we can change completely? What if this is as far as we can go?

Karl - Has any vampire ever made it?

Dr. Murdoch - I believe it's possible.

Essie - Based on what? Some hunch by The Elders who haven't made it themselves in 2000 years.

Dr. Murdoch – You’re the first ones to do the program. YOU will prove it's possible.

Marty – Well, if anybody's going all the way, (looks at Drew) its Drew! I'm betting on it. (Murdoch looks funny at Drew)

(Night in Lobby: Drew standing at the staircase. He’s listening to Sherry’s thoughts. Sherry is asleep in bed. Downstairs Essie opens the office doors and goes over to Drew.)

Essie - What are you doing?

Drew – Hanging…

Essie - Well I've come to tell you that it's snack time.

Drew - And I told you I'm not hungry.

Essie - Whatever you're doing, stop it NOW.

Drew - Why don't you go back to your fashion designs. I don't need a watchdog, okay?

Essie - You're up to something, Drew, something dangerous, and I wanna know what it is. Now what's going on?

Drew – (Thinks) I'm fasting.

Essie – Yeah, no kidding. Why?

Drew - It's part of a test.

Essie - What test?

Drew - To prove I'm not a monster... That I can be close to Sherry without…

Essie – Would you let her go! Are you completely nuts?

Drew - Look, I failed once, to really connect with her… because I-I cou- I couldn't control these… urges. But I believe it's possible, I know it in my heart.

Essie - So where does the fasting part come in?

Drew - I need to be there, right beside her, completely vulnerable, unfed, unslept, and know I won't harm her.

Essie - And if you fail? All right, if you're so dead set on doing this, you'll need a FUTARI ME.

Drew - A what?

Essie - A second. A disgraced Samurai warrior about to commit suicide always had a Futari me standing behind to slice off his head at the first sign of cowardice.

Drew - So you're saying if I lose control with Sherry…

Essie - …I'll cut of your head. (Leaves back to office)

(Morning: Sherry walking to class. Mimi grabs Sherry’s arm and pulls her to the side)

Sherry - We're late for class…

Mimi - We gotta talk...

Sherry - What's up?

Mimi - Dr. Murdoch's doing an investigation.

Sherry – On…?

Mimi - Cheating on the last history exam.

Sherry - So?

Mimi - So he's investigating Sandra, Jennifer… and me.

Sherry - You? (Mimi looks guilty) Is that how you got 92 percent?

Mimi - What do you think?

Sherry - Then you've got nothing to worry about, right? (Goes to class)

Mimi - Right. (Walks after her)

(Night in Cellar: Drew throwing ball against wall. Karl storms in)

Karl – Geeesss! You know how Murdoch said he would hook us up to a sports network for my ‘exeptional progress’ mean had I passed? Well, anyways I told him he should hook us up anyways because you know, like, Sunday and, and Pro football and beer and, well, scratch the beer, but, he wouldn't budge. (Stand straight up with arms open) Hey, pass the ball, buddy.

Drew - I'm not your buddy.

Karl – Fine! Keep playing solitaire, Drew. (Gets in coffin. The moon roof closes) Sunrise in 10 minutes.

(Karl closes coffin lid. Drew mind travels to Sherry who’s asleep. Drew thinking about the test he did. Dr. Murdoch – (echo) How much closer? Then the machine blows. Drew opens coffin lid and gets out and walks over to Essie’s coffin and opens the lid and sees her inside. He closes it again and puts a chain around the coffin and hooks the ends with a hook. He leaves for Sherry’s room upstairs and Drew is at her door. Morning is approaching. He goes to open door)

Mimi - Sherry, (He stops) can we talk?

Sherry - Mimi, it's five in the morning. (Mimi gets out of bed and goes over to Sherry)

Mimi - I really need a friend right now.

Sherry - Ahhh, the investigation?

Mimi - Promise you won't get mad at me?

Sherry – Why would I…?

Mimi – See… Sandra, Jennifer and I were really nervous about this exam. I'm no history whiz....

Sherry - Mimi, you didn’t...?

Mimi - Let me finish, so Jennifer had this idea, to get some exams from Murdoch's file…

Sherry - You cheated?!

Mimi – No! Yes, I mean, I took the test, but I didn't read them.

Sherry – Ninety-Two percent…

Mimi - Please Sherry, believe me, I studied really hard. Now I know Murdoch will kill me for taking his papers, and that's fair, But you’ve gotta tell him I didn't read them.

Sherry - How do I know if you did or didn't?

Mimi - You're my friend! He'll believe you.

Sherry - I can't…

Mimi - A friend would stand up for me!

Sherry - A friend wouldn't ask me to do something like this!

(Mimi goes back to her bed. Drew getting all weird. In cellar: Essie banging on coffin lid)

Essie – (knocking on coffin lid) Dreeeewww! Let me out of here now!!!! Dreeeww! Drew! Don't do this alone! Drew! Let me out of here! Ohh!

(Upstairs: Drew is on the floor sitting up against door. Sun is rising. Drew mind travels in room and sees Sherry and Mimi asleep. The sun is up. He gets up slowly and opens door and goes in. He close door behind him and goes over to Sherry. He kneels down beside her and goes in for a kiss but starts to vamp out. He controls it and goes in for another kiss but she moves her head. Finally he kiss’ her)

Drew - I'll never leave you again.

(Later the sun is up. Drew leaves room but collapses to the floor. Later in cellar Essie opens Drew's coffin and he awakes.)

Essie - It's time to eat!

Drew – How’d I get here?

Essie – FUTARI ME, remember, you’re second? You seemed forget you had one. (Essie holds out plasma. Drew sits up)

Drew - You didn't cut off my head.

Essie - I will if you don't eat this time. (Drew takes bag)

Drew – How’d you get out?

Essie - Dear old Marty, kept awake by indigestion, poor boy, bad case of  blood poisoning.

Drew – (smiles) I proved Murdoch wrong. I passed the real test.

Essie - For now. (Leaves but turns around) But two minutes together, is not a lifetime.

(Drew at blood storage case just downing blood. Others are at table drinking their blood looking at Drew.)

Dr. Murdoch – Vampires are not de void of free will. Like mortals, they have choices. (Morning: Mimi outside office) The true test of any vampire or human, is,’ have they made the right choice?’ And the state they find themselves in, is the ultimate answer. (Opens door) I’ll be with you in a moment… (Sherry walks over to Mimi)

Sherry - Mimi, you are my best friend in the entire world so, if there's something you need me to say, I’ll… (Mimi all happy)

Mimi – Oooh! (They hug) No! I was so wrong to ask. (They let go) I'm sorry. He'll believe me or he won't. (Murdoch opens door they look at him)

Dr. Murdoch - Mimi… (Mimi and Murdoch go inside and Sherry stands and waits)